Christmas Wish

14Nov10

Dear Santa,

Christmas is coming soon and my email and phone are filled with messages asking the infamous question, “What do you want for Christmas?”

But Nick, my problem is this: I don’t know.

I mean, I know what I really want. I know the things that would be ideal, but I don’t have a home. I don’t have a place of my own to hang my hat and paint the walls. My address changes so often, that I am now weary to continue my current subscription, let alone add to it.

My life just feels incomplete. And I don’t mean that by saying because I am missing “stuff,” but I know I am missing something.

Growing up, I didn’t want to believe that I needed a man to make me happy. I believed that once I was happy, once I found happiness on my own accord, that a man could possibly fit into that.

But as I stroll across Union Square and watch the couples trip and fall on the outdoor ice rink, I can’t help but think, “Man, that would be nice.” Or as couples come into on the cool or rainy days and order their hot chocolates and their lattes. I steam milk wishing I were on the other side of the counter with a man.

Perhaps it is just the holidays that has me so ridiculous and misguided. But I have a fear that maybe I am not being so ridiculous.

That’s my question for you St. Nick. Forget the sweaters and the subscriptions and knicker knacks. Help me find that missing piece so maybe I don’t feel so void.

Thank you and happy Holidays,

your confused San Franciscan

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