fairy tale secrets

02Jun10

So. Today is your lucky day. Today I am going to share a secret with you.

I know, how much of a secret is it when I post it on my blog, right? But you see, only like 10 people read my blog. So I feel confident that my secret could actually be safe.

I want a fairy tale. I don’t mean a knight on a white horse with his sword drawn. I mean a happily ever after. A true love. A once in a lifetime.

The only problem: I don’t believe in love. And I don’t know how much stock I put into marriage.

I want to. I want to believe that true love could exist. You know, the kind they talk about on movies and in songs. The kind that makes your heart putter just as awkwardly as it did during that first kiss. The kind that makes you act a fool and bend over backward.

The kind that at the end of a long day or a shitty week, you can just curl into a ball together, sit down with a glass (or more) of wine and just sit. No one needs to talk. No one needs to ask, “what’s wrong.” Or “wish there was something I could do.”

No.

Silence. Comfort. Stability.

Someone to grow old with. Someone to share your secrets with. Someone to fall asleep with at night. Someone to make you soup when you are sick. Someone to be your “plus one” at any event. From the mundane to the meaningful.

Someone who will scream from the bleachers even if you suck worse than {pick an athlete that is just AWFUL bad but tries really hard}.

But society makes it hard to believe in true love. In happily ever afters.

I look around and see marriages that make me literally cringe. I don’t want that.

I don’t know. Maybe I just want too much. Maybe I don’t know what love really means.

Maybe I am just confused.

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