slutty

31May10

I often agree that when you dress like a slut, then you should expect to be treated like a slut. Is it fair? Probably not. But those are the signals that are sent out when girls dress “scandaliciouosly.”

The questions comes, though, as to what qualifies “slutty.”

Our culture is the frog in a pot of water.

**I don’t remember if I have used this analogy here, but basically here you go:

If you put a frog in a pot of boiling water, it will leap out. But if you put a frog in a pot of regular-temperature water and set it to boil, it will literally cook itself to death

So here is our culture. We are the frog in a pot of water. We slowly adjust as a society and change what we consider morally corrupt or appropriate.

Some cultures women cannot walk outside unless every inch of their skin is covered. Other cultures women are forced to wear skirts. Other cultures women don’t wear bras and don’t shave their armpits.

And then there is the wonderful You-Ess-Of-Eh.

Here women can wear what they please and how they please to. The restrictons are placed on us by our region and religion and sometimes our school district.

But often times, what we wear holds its own consequences. Not governmental, nothing that will get us “in trouble.” But rather, it is all about other people’s perceptions.

I mentioned in a previous post how undergarments can tell a lot about a girl. How they hold her secrets. And that is very true. Because often times if you wear those secrets on the outside, if you dress like you wear your panties, society treats you completely differently.

In some cases, if folks knew I even owned a thong (let along wore them regularly), then I am considered a “slut.” Forget the idea of lacy panties or bras. Don’t even consider buying undergarments in colors other than white or nude. Hell, sometimes even a black bra or black panties is a big no-no. Anything else makes you a slut. Anything else says you are easy. Anything else says {fill in the blank}.

Thus bringing me to what we wear on the outside. The woman we want people to see. The woman we want to try to be.

My only problem: I don’t know what constitutes slutty.

I really don’t grasp the concept. Lately I have been having problems with old creepy guys treating me inappropriately at random locations. Whether it is at alumni events, offering him a banana on the way to class, at the grocery store, in the laundry room…the list goes on.

Some of my friends say it is because of how I dress. I encourage men to treat me like dirt. I ask men to treat me like a sex object here for their ultimate pleasure.

But today I am confused. Utterly.

Today I went to the store in grey sweat pants and a semi-fitted shirt and flipflops. My hair was in a messy bun thanks to the lack of hot shower for about 5 days now at my apartment, I had no makeup on and I was a little sweaty. Yes, I had a little bit of cleavage showing, but it wasn’t a lot–or at least I didn’t think so. Nothing was popping out, and all the important bits were covered.

I am by FAR a pretty girl. I am no where near physically fit (although I do attempt to try). I have some features that could be considered flattering, but nothing that just jumps out.

But today two men at the grocery store not only spoke inappropriately to me, not only asked me out, not only harassed me while I attempted to shop. But they actually TOUCHED me.

These two men found it OK to wrap their arms around me at the grocery store. One even picked up a bottle of wine, handed it to me and told me to get it so we could drink together.

I want to say that women who dress like sluts should expect to be treated like such. But right now, I don’t think I understand what is considered slutty.

Today as I reflect on my trip to the grocery store (and many other similar trips), I just don’t think I understand what it means to be slutty.

So maybe, just maybe, I could be slutty. Or maybe, just maybe, guys are horny pigs and it doesn’t matter how a girl dresses.

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