rape prevention

09Feb12

It’s so funny being a woman. So much about our bodies are designed to be sexual. Yea, Yea Yea, you could argue that breasts and vaginas are for the purpose of popping out and providing nutrients for babies, but that’s secondary to the whole “making a baby part.” Because let’s be frank…if you ain’t gettin’ it in, you ain’t poppin’ anythin’ out.

And so with that thought in mind, the discussions revolving around women’s wardrobe and their “desire to flaunt their bodies” fascinate me. (And I say this as a woman who owns mostly boob shirts, and who actively seeks out the pants that make my ass SHINE).

You see, folks are appalled by woman’s desire to be sexual. Correction: They want women to be sexual, but only during this small finite window of “when it is appropriate.”

But here these folks are telling women to “hide their bodies” and “cover up” and the related. And if women wear too much make up or have a little bit of cleavage, they are identified as a slut, tramp or whore. Those women are ASKING for “trouble.”

And I say all this because there have been a lot of posts recently regarding “rape prevention” and to whom the education should be directed toward (or perhaps it is my own subconscious taking note of the posts that have been there for years). Whatever the case may be, I have noticed a lot.

You have these rape survivors (you cannot call them “victims” because that implies an element of weakness) explaining to the public that it wasn’t “their fault” they got raped. Which is just a completely appalling idea in and of itself. Some bastard goes and “demonstrates” his dominance on a woman, and the woman is of fault??

You see, rape is not about sexual desire. It is about power. But yet a woman is the one who is expected to understand how to “prevent” this abuse of power.

There are so many lists of instructions for women to “prevent” this type of encounter: don’t wear ponytails, don’t walk at night, not dress like a slut, don’t talk on the phone while walking, talk on the phone while walking, carry a whistle (that no one will actually pay attention to when blown)…and the list continues.

But when 2/3 of the “survivors” KNOW their assailant, then those lists have little use.

But yet here we are. Telling women everywhere that rape is a result of their life choices.

I don’t agree. That is a bullshit answer, but  it is simpler and easier than the world realizing there are bad people in the world, who by nature desire to do bad things. People need an explanation for “why.” They need someone to blame when the world doesn’t go their way.

It is why even if there weren’t a God (and I am not here to prove or disprove this), people would CREATE one. Because we need it. We see it through history. It’s why whenever ANYTHING negative happens, people look for an explanation. (But interestingly enough, when something GOOD happens, people don’t always attribute it to them being “good.” Often times it is sheer luck on their side).

The only thing is…not everything can be explained. And so we live in an “effed” up world where the victim (or survivor) is held responsible for situations beyond her (or his) own control. And the assailant is given more privileges, leeway and the related than deserved.

Filed under: Life Lessons   |  1 Comment
Tags: ap2, dominance, prevention, rape, sexual assault, survivor, victom, women